The beginning....

I think, perhaps, if I give the voices in my head an outlet, then I won't feel like I'm going insane. On the other hand, this exercise may result in written confirmation that I am, indeed, certifiably nutters. Oh well. Either way, I can't seem to get the voices to shut up, so I guess I'll give them an opportunity to speak in a manner that isn't too terribly destructive or harmful to myself and my offspring. They are, after all, the people to blame for the voices inside my head (my children, I mean). It's amazing, when you think about it; not only are they annoying loud on the outside, but they tend to produce a resonating noise inside my head that reveberates for varying periods of time, even after they've stopped making external noise. I wonder why....

Anyways, I suppose writing about my frustrated comical experiences is better than experimenting heavily with illegal substances myself or causing bodily harm to said offspring, which, I admit, I have been tempted to do (both) when I find myself in particularly strained moments.

There is one undetermined factor in this. I have yet to decide whether or not I want to share some or all of this babbling with others. Considering it right now it feels very much like I do when I'm having a nightmare; the one where I'm either partially or completely naked in public, usually back in high school again, and can't seem to hide it. What will people think? And, more importantly, how much do I care about what others' opinions are of my writing? I know my mom will love it; she's been encouraging me to write forever now. Besides, she's my mom; by default, she is required by to be my number one fan. And, my husband will be supportive. He supports anything the causes his wife to feel more stable and sane; a wisdom acquired from 15 years of marriage to someone always on the verge of something nearing psychosis. Oh well. I guess no one else will be compelled to read my musings. I have to confess that thinking about writing all of these things down has sparked a little something inside of me that has felt dead for too many years. It's something that has been stuffed deep down inside of me, tucked away, ignored, drowned out by the demands of life. That little something, I think, is me. And, I think I am finally ready to let that little individual (that used to belong to solely to myself, but has long since signed up to belong to a multitude of others) speak up. Watch out world! The voices inside my head have now officially been loosed. You have been warned.